Christmas in Thailand

Greetings Earthlings. I understand you have something called “Xmas” – where presumably “X” is an unknown quantity and “Mass” is a dense volume of space. So, all you unknown dense volumes of space out there, be extremely merry. Or, as they say on my planet, “Live long and prosper”.

We’ve landed back in Thailand after a hectic week in Viet Nam and the difference in the two capital cities is quite amazing. Bangkok at once seems more “westernised” than Hanoi and less chaotic. There is, however, now a danger of being more complacent here about motorbikes riding on the pavement and, just to add to the hazards of Bangkok street life, a Christmas tree fell on me as I walked up Soi 39 the other day. Actually, it more like leapt out at me and the owner of said tree had to come out of his shop to pull it off and give it a good talking to. In Bangkok, they have malls and Emporiums (together will a man in full white uniform, complete with cap, at the doors whose sole job, it would appear, is to salute the customers as they arrive). In Hanoi, they seem a long way from that and most of the action is on the street. Here, they have a variety of five star restaurants along with the usual MacDonalds or Burger Kings and the like. In Hanoi we spotted just one KFC, which offspring James insists stands for Kentucky Fried Canine, or, given the preponderance of seafood on offer, could also stand for Kentucky Fried Cephalopod. I had “chicken” many times while I was there but the bones seldom resembled any English poultry carcass I had ever pulled apart before. Indeed, every guide we had gleefully rejoiced in the Viet Nam’s omnivorosity (I know, it’s not a real word) explaining that they loved eating dog meat. After a while the shock value wore off although I still balked at the frog menus.

Linda and I spent Christmas Eve day on a tourist boat on Chao Phraya river stopping off at the vegetable and flower market in Bangkok’s huge Chinatown district. We spent an hour photographing a marvellous Wat (Buddhist temple) by the river before taking a wrong turn and getting lost in a very narrow labyrinthine underground market (it wasn’t really underground but was completely enclosed and very, very crowded). We burst out into daylight five days later, very thirsty and looking for the ferry and skytrain home. Today, Christmas Day, is a quiet affair so far. The sun is pouring through the windows and the others have gone for a swim in the pool before opening the presents under the tree. I can cope with this: no endless, mindless Xmas adverts on TV until you scream; no repeats repeats repeats repeats repeats of the same old Xmas records on the radio until you throw it out the window; and no fighting and scrabbling against the multitudes at the shops and supermarkets buying junk they can’t afford and don’t really want. This afternoon we are having Christmas dinner at an outdoor barbeque where, apparently we drink Singha beer and cook our meat over our own personalised hot stones until we go pop. Sounds like my sort of afternoon.

Hope you all have a similarly pleasant day. Farewell for now.